That Don't Impress Me
by Briar Noir
Summary: After a hard day of even harder headed men, Kagome settles down to some music. What will this schoolgirl turn on? A fun songfic parody of Shania Twain's 'That Don't Impress Me' with all the Inuyasha boys!


_I was hyper and listening to Shania Twain. I apologize for the following insanity arising from my quite possibly pseudo-intellectual mind. NOT!_

_*Is smacked by the light muse Rose. **Ow!** Stuffs Rose into a box. *_

_Anyway enjoy and please review or flame. Any flames will be utilized in the efforts of making dear Kikyo into a clay pot. Just send me your thoughts because good or bad I'd love to hear them. Er well maybe not all of them. Keep it clean!!_

_As far as the disclaimer, you people know the drill. _

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            **"Men,"** growled a frustrated sixteen year old girl. Kagome flopped onto her soft bed and buried her face in the pillow. After a hectic day of dealing with various overbearing males she had returned to her time for a much needed rest. Which she told Inuyasha she required in a conversation that ended in his body sunken deeply in the Earth's crust. 

            'Why does he get so overprotective? And impotent' She thought while rubbing her temples in a valiant attempt to ward off an oncoming migraine. Rolling over with a sigh Kagome stared at the dimming light of dusk on her ceiling. 

            Crawling onto her stomach Buyo purred in an effort to comfort his woe begotten mistress. Kagome absent-mindedly reached to scratch his ears. '_The day started off normally enough_,' she thought, '_even Inuyasha was in a good mood this morning. So maybe it wasn't quite normal. But then . . . let's see first Kouga came declaring I was his mate. The ass.'_

             Kagome loosely slipped a hand behind her head, pillowing her head of raven hair. '_Then Sesshoumaru decided to awe us with his presence. Going after the tetsusaiga again. He made some crack about me admiring him. Thus Pissing Inuyasha off even more._'

            '_Then Naraku graced us with an appearance in a Kikyo lust mood. And of course he decides to transfer the affections. Urg. Gross!_

_             Finally when I try to return to the present for the first time in weeks Inuyasha throws a hissyfit and accuses me of wanting to go after other men As if I have the time, while hunting shards in the past and putting up with him and his emotional baggage ._' 

            Blue eyes narrow in anger, 'As if I didn't have enough chances to go off with guys today. He is such an utter idiot.' 

            'I really need to stop thinking about those Neanderthals.' Sitting up Kagome pushes Buyo off of her.  

            "I need some music!" She walks over to her desk and flicks her c.d player on. "That Don't Impress Me Much" by Shania Twain comes on. Kagome grins as an idea dawns on her and hits the continual replay button.

            She pulls out a sheet of paper and sits down at her oak desk. Kagome writes with a wide smile on her face. Singing along as she does so. 

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**_I've known a few guys who thought they were pretty smart_**

**_But you've got evil plans down to an art_**

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**_You think you're a genius - you drive me up a wall._**

**_You're a regular original, a know it all_**

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**_Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special_**

**_Oh-oo-oh you think you're something else_**

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**_Okay so you're a sadistic dictator_**

**_That don't_****_ impress me much_**

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**_So you got the brains but have you got the touch_**

**_Don't get me wrong, I don't think you're alright_**

**_But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night_**

**_That don't_****_ impress me much_**

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**_I never knew a guy to carry a mirror in his pocket _**

**_And a comb up his kimono – just in case_**

**_And whatever is in your hair ought to lock it _**

**_'Cause kamis forbid it should fall out of place_**

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**_Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special_**

**_Oh-oo-oh you think you're something else_**

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**_Okay, so you're a demon lord_**

**_That don't_****_ impress me much_**

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**_So you got the looks but have you got the touch_**

**_Don't get me wrong, I think you're alright_**

**_But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night_**

**_That don't_****_ impress me much_**

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**_Your one of those guys who brag about strength _**

**_You check for danger before you come in arm's length_**

**_I can't believe you kiss your shards goodnight_**

**_C'mon baby tell me you must be jokin', right?_**

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**_Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special_**

**_Oh-oo-oh you think you're something else_**

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**_Okay, so you've got some shards_**

**_ That don't impress me much_**

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**_So you got the moves but have you got the touch_**

**_Don't get me wrong, I think you're alright_**

**_But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night_**

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**_That don't_****_ impress me much_**

**_You think you're cool but have you got the touch_**

**_Don't get me wrong, I think you're alright_**

**_But that won't keep me warm on the long cold moonless night_**

**_That don't_****_ impress me much_**

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**_Okay, so what do you think you're Musashi* or something . . ._**

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**_Whatever_**

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**_That don't_****_ impress me_**

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_*****_

            With a mischievous grin Kagome dropped her pen on her desk. She stood up and strutted toward the bathroom pajamas in hand and a song upon her lips. Raven hair swishing back and forth with every step. The door shut with a resounding click. 

***

            Outside the vacated bedroom's window a certain silver haired hanyou stood staring at the closed door. An uncertain look was set upon his face and a drop of sweat rolled down his cheek. A sign that he had definitely gotten the message that Kagome unwittingly sent. 

            'I think I'll just come back tomorrow,' he thought. Gold eyes flickered to the paper upon the desk. 'Maybe after her 'skool' finishes.' He is pensive for a moment, 'Definitely after the 'skool'.' Then without a sound he disappeared into the black of night.  

**            Musashi* - Miyamoto Musashi (last name first) is a Japanese folk character and hero. He is somewhat of a national legend and hero in ****Japan****, sort of like the dashing heroes portrayed in the Wild West. His life story is depicted in the book Musashi which was written by Yoshikawa Eiji. It is a series of several shorter books, complied into one. He was born prior to the battle of Sekigahara just following Sengoku Jidai or the 'warring states period'. **

**            This was after Nobunaga united ****Japan**** and dealt with the succession of leadership of Tokugawa and Ieyesu. In the story Musashi strives to become a worthy samurai, encountering many interesting characters. It gives a wonderful mindset of medieval ****Japan****. I recommend it for anyone interested in ****Japan****'s history or who is looking for an amazing read.**

**Enjoy! ^-^***


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